Rediscovering my insanity

I wanna be a child again I wanna be so wild again What that innocent child thinks Those lovely smiles, those soothing winks Is out of the cruel world's realms Spreading his innocent charms Knows no cheat, knows no lie His laugh's true and so's the cry Sees a stranger and waves a hey Sees a plane and waves it goodbye Sees a bird and wants to fly Runs on ground but feels the sky Plays a game and enjoys it all Loves to dive and loves to fall Hears the same stories again and again But still he loves them all the same Sings like no one's near But wants everyone to hear Dances like there's no one to see Dances so wild, dances so free Warn him and still he dares About the result who cares Knows how to enjoy moment each How to live, he can teach Learns from defeats, loves victories Some sweet and some sweeter memories So why grow up and be a man I'll remain a child till i can I wanna be a child again  I wanna be so wild again

When I shared it all with you I had laid open my heart I knew I was risking an end of something great But for something better which might start On one side was a friend whom I never wanted to lose On other was my love that I wanted to choose Fear, anxiety, hope- I was feeling it all Though I knew I was going to lose this game But if later I realized we stood a chance I knew it too I couldnt bear that blame When you confirmed your NO I wont say I dint feel any pain But still I felt a load off my chest That confession dint go in vain I thought that together we would dream And that dream would come true I know that I still am someone’s dream Its just that THAT someone might not be you I knew I could ve tried a lot more To change your mind, gone to any length But that would only ve made me weaker And love is supposed to be your strength I had imagined the trips, the walks and the adventures The love that would make you and me- WE But more than in all those sweet nothings That...

Its days like these When I remember those times The crazy things that we did All ya my partners in crimes. I remember going out for movies And asking you not to be too loud I used to hate missing the dialogues And even more disturbing the crowd. Even now I go to watch those movies And those dialogues are so clear But something bigger seems amiss Those questions now is what I want to hear. I remember taking the first row seats So I could stretch as if in my bed And finding the movies boring I could just lie down and drop dead. Now I buy the gold tickets Its not as if it was some pretense But I cant be that child now Without you it just makes no sense. Sitting now on a comfy chair Having in my wallet my own card I remember how we cursed our miseries Sitting on that wooden chair so hard. Watching the watches twice a second Ignoring those lectures so bore What I wont give right now To attend one just once more. I know we all still are connected But still its not how I liked ...

After the previous blog, I had a discussion with another of my friends and his question was Why do you need THE ONE? Are you getting desperate? My reply was that it was only an answer to the question formed by the environment around me. But then there's no incident that happen by itself. There's always a thinking behind it. Maybe, just maybe, the society reiterating its point again and again of necessity of marriage made a small puncture through my defenses. And thanks to my friend, am back to square one. Why do we need THE ONE? If you can be in love with yourself whole your life, if you can be independent enough to do whatever you like to, why is there a need for any other person. This need arises when you start feeling alone with yourself. You stop feeling good about yourself and need an external source to reaffirm your belief that you are a good person and are enjoying your life. Now that thought is laughable. How does one lose his self belief to such an extent that he r...

Listening to Woh Ladki hai Kahaan from Dil Chahta Hai while cycling, discussion with a friend(more like a question which I ignored and gave him some philosophical crap) and a random article... All this has made me actually consider this question. How would you decide who is the one? How would you know if there's some connection? How would you know if that connection is good enough to take you through all the bad times never allowing you to quit on that person? I believe in making friends only. Only when I feel the connection, can that person graduate to being more than that. And it just happens with time without any reason. But I guess there are always some reasons. You just dont realize it. Otherwise every person you have known for some time would be THE ONE. But it isnt. And thus I thought some more. So my instant reaction was a person sharing my interests. She should like going for trips, wrestle with me like my sister does, root for the social causes, have the same moral et...

Feeling so empty Nothing to explain Clouds around me They refuse to rain I see no movement Everything's so still I see nothing Just a void to fill A feeling so hanging Can't see the reason Have thought so hard Brain accuses of treason Voice of my heart Though its so near Still it seems so far Am unable to hear Nothing seems alive Everything seems so dead No life behind No life ahead Haze in my eyes Nothing seems clear Don't want to cry But can't hold that tear Someone be my angel And lend me a hand Help me to my feet And make me stand Just show me a vision Just show me a ray I'm ready to walk I'll find my own way

When you feel sad and lonely it shouts out so loud. I'm always there beside you 'll never leave you alone in this crowd. I'll be there with you always in all your defeats and victories. 'll capture them all for you as bitter or sweet memories. When you miss someone too much i'll start dripping as your tears. Not to break you down but to help you shed your fears. Maybe that person ain't there, but those moments are still in your mind. Just take a trip down my lane and those moments you'll find. And when you meet again but feel nothing is like before I'll make you at ease again and the discomfort would be no more. People 'll think you are out of your mind when i flash as a smile on your face. Tell them it's just the opposite you are in your mind but out of that place. Be it the moments of your sadness, be it the moments of your pleasure. I'll save them all with me 'll keep them all as a treasure. When you are busy with friends, silen...

When the breeze rushes past me it whispers something in my ear. Can't make out the words it says but the voice I know too clear. And along with that voice it brings the scent I love so much. And then it caresses my bare skin and I remember that touch. You said I don't feel anything but baby thats not fair. I feel you in everything even in emptiness of the air. I remember the day when we had that fight. You walked out on me forever when I refused to accept I wasn't right. But now that you are gone I realize that I was wrong. Please come back to me baby I can no more pretend to be that strong. Please return to me girl I'll show you how I feel. My heart is just a heart its not made of steel. Baby just forgive me for once and give me just one more chance. I've felt the way you said I've felt the magic in romance. Now I'll be all open with you I'll never try to hide. I'll let the moment knock me out I'll let my...

Sometimes in life you like it the most, when a moment of insanity prevails. Chaos is the need of the hour, when everything organized fails. Sometimes its better to let your life go full blast, after shedding all its safety and failing all its brakes. Sometimes you should bet everything you've, without even knowing what are the stakes. Sometimes you need to forget all your limits. and the impossible you need to dare. Sometimes such moments of madness you need, cause U R STILL ALIVE they make you aware.

Fed up with everything, not knowing what to do. Questioning the life, she had no clue. To teach her a lesson, and give her a curse. End it all, what could be worse. Found a gun, and took the aim. Leaving all behind, finishing the game. Pulled the trigger, shot in my head. What happened, I should be dead. What the hell, why am i still here. Checked the barrel, no bullet there. Questioning myself, I returned to sense. What was I doing nearly crossed the fence. Till the game's there, I would love to play. I can't quit now, nor some other day. I'll play this life, won't cross that line. And when its time to end, the choice won't be mine. Till that time, I'll always smile never frown. I'll play by my rules, won't ever back down. I'll make the moves, I wanna make. I'll take the turns, I wanna take. Enjoying the joys, and pain the same. Enjoying the life, I'll win this game.

Some moments touch my heart And i cant help but stare Capture them through my eyes All those moments so rare Its all really such a wonder How sometimes we all just gather Enjoy the moments with the people Whom we wont be seen with rather Amazing are those events That bring everyone so close Together we celebrate them Or fight the dangers they pose We help those unknown And befriend the strangers We leave our comforts behind To fight instead their dangers Can see only darkness around But still we pass on the hope Cant find the grip for selves But still we pass on the rope The shy leave inhibitions behind And forgiven are all the foes Everyone becomes one big family Through all those highs and lows My eyes fill with tears My heart fills with glee For then in a crowd of homo sapiens The real humans is what i see